Testify...

What is my testimony... my journey in life, my journey to christ? I guess it would all start in the begining. I was born into a family that wasn't ever really complete, I talked to my mom about it and she told me how scared she was when it became apparent that I was going to be born. She was Catholic, born and raised irish-catholic. when she found that she was pregnant she decided to marry my father. Well My dad was never ready to be a dad, He still isn't ready to be a dad, but I forgive him for that - he does try, really, he just isn't ready maturity wise and he's about 57 now. So that being said, when I was born it was into a pretty shakey family as it was. My mom, dad, sister, and me. Well as it went along, I was raised Catholic - like the rest of my family still is. I kind of grew up never really feeling confident in myself, I was always the one who wasn't as smart as my sister, I couldn't focus - apparently all I ever wanted to do was play. I used to have a lot of friends who went to church with me, but the thing was In my family we never really talked about god. Morning, noon, night whenever we never ever talked about god. He just wasn't a part of our lives. Slowly as time went on my "family" grew apart and I became a more selfish individual. Around 8th grade I decided that although I knew the bible better than most kids I hung out with I didn't know what I believed. I did know one thing, I hated going to church and I ceased to go. After 6th grade my family sold their house, my mom and dad split up, and my sister and I went to live with my mom. My dad I guess had been talking to some woman in Austraila(random), on a side note the woman he was talking too looked me up one time and she is very nice. Well 7th grade was an extremely nerdy stage for me, I started going to my sisters school, which was Oxford Acadamy magnet school for the gifted and talented. It was an extremely stressful enviroment esspecially for me, a kid who is amazing when it comes to writing, but horrible at math. Around the end of 7th grade I was having problems with some of my best friends, over a girl. Yeah I know, stupid now, but back then it was something that launched me into a deep depression. I was alone, I had no one to talk to, my friends hated me, my family hated me(so I thought), for all I knew God hated me. I considered suicide. Well I made it to 8th grade, figuring that a life is a terrible thing to waste. This was about the time that I decided that I would never drink or do Drugs because it would just take my life away from me, life being the only valueable thing I had left - I couldn't let it go. 8th grade was mostly spent, for the first half, finding new friends. Then In english class with Mr.Cook who was a minister at one time and whom deeply influenced me with his morality, I met lauren. Lauren was going to become one of my best friends. Well her best friend was going to become my first girlfriend. Her name was Alli, and she was a lot of firsts for me. First date, first kiss, first girlfriend, first "love", first mistake. I did far more with Alli than I should have, and it was far more than I was ready for. Back in 8th grade, I had no idea who I was or what I would become. The only thing that I did then that i was proud of was the fact that I was in the Boy scouts of America. Well After 8th grade I moved from girl to girl. After my sister graduated and moved to new york, my mom and I moved out here. I think once we moved, and I lived alone with my mom I found out a lot of things that made me change who I was. She would cry a lot the first year, and before we moved, I didn't know that she cried. After the move, nothing changed about the girls, one to the next, continuing until this year. Each year of highschool got progressivly worse with them, each year I would grow older, and I would look for more, I wanted more, I needed to feel something. I never really did. The reason that I never did Drugs or Drank wasn't because of my own morals really, I came very close, the people whom I hung out with when I moved here did all of those things. It was an important senior in my life freshman year who told me it was ok to be straight edge, she said it was "cool of me." she called me her little emo kid. It was kinda cool, she is still one of my best friends, and I look up to her imensly. She taught me so much about music, and being a leader. Everything I know about leading people and being strong is from her example. Anyway like I said, as I grew older and as my mom and aunt say, "Into a fine Gentleman." I devolved in my search for a relationship, they became less and less, losing meaning with each one. Finally my experience with girls ended Junior year in march, with a girl cheating on me the day she told me she loved me. It was then that I felt lost, I had felt it all along, but along the way of my life, I would Quell the hurt, by distracting myself. Much like others do with Drugs and Alcohol or food or gambling I used girls. Distracting me from the pain, the loss. I was growing into a man, learning to take those around me and lift them up, to be selfless, and to lead. I am a Boy scout, soon to be eagle scout, I am a leader of percussion in band, I lead people in academic decathalon. But when it came to my life, I felt completely and totally out of control, at a loss. Then I met Emily. At a writers conference, gave her my number, and next thing I know, she invites me to come with her youth group to a debate about god. Then to church, then to Catalyst. The next thing I knew, I had god, He was there, I felt him. I gave my life to him, and I started reading the Gospel. I let myself fall to my knees and ask for him to forgive me, for everything I'd done. He did. Now I have been going to New Harvest for about 2 and a half months. I've believed in god my whole life, But I didn't know god till a few months ago. I may stumble as a christian, but God picks me back up and dusts me off, and I continue to follow christ. I will, for the rest of my life. 

-David.