last night was like a stolen kiss.

fast and uncalled for, but at the same time, something else entirely. I liked that feeling, seeing someone I care about, comfortable enough to sleep, to sleep peacefully whilst i was driving. it was nice. I think I shall go back to church this week. Despite what might come to me, it isnt about me, its about him. Im tired of being afraid, or feeling like a jerk. Im not, I was well in my rights. Despite the bickering, and the tantrums, the hitting me, the constant barage of insults that eventually lead to my self hatred. I still wanted to be her friend. I cared about her. still do, but im letting it go. Abusive relationships are someting that both parties can be a part of. Im glad to say the abuse in this last one, was all one sided. If you put yourself out enough to get hit, you always will. Someone once told me, "you dont sing well, but when you sing, it is the only thing i want to hear." someone else once told me, "I hate when you sing, I hate your voice." last night I was told, "I love your voice." comming from this person that means a lot, so I think i will keep my song, continue to voice it loud, and remember what it is like to fall in love, but this time gaurd myself from being taken without given anything in return. I never wanted what she had to give, 4 times it was offered, 4 times rejected. Too bad I took the fruit, it lost me my place in the garden.

So i got moved up...

To rank 3. only a few more to go. i will be number one. Had a great talk with micah today, got an app for college too, im so excited for my future. I can't wait, its like a great adventure. I can't wait to read acts, its gonna be so beneficial to my understanding.

So far in acadec...

Ive been told i was ranked 4th overall in effort. Sadly, this means i need to step it up even harder. Yes my grades will suffer, yes no one will see me anymore, But i will be top B. This isn't even close to the end. Oliver may just be trying to motivate me, or he may actually believe that this is where i am at. Either way, i wanted to be top B at regionals, let alone on our team, since the outset. This is where i show what I am made of.



_David.