I have grown up overnight.

It is Ironically funny when you think that you are so smart that everyone else is wrong with the way that they think. I feel like an idiot sometimes, but last night was the worst. I couldn't understand what she told me and I didn't really want to. It was much better than what I was thinking, the reason that she didn't want to date, but what I couldn't get was how that could be the reason? I am friends with my ex's, it would be messed up and wrong not to be. Kaitlyn is one of my best friends, I'd never trade her, but damn that was unexpected. The fact that I'm friends with my ex's kind of screwed me this time I guess. It's ok, She's not right for me, I get that now. Oh how I get it.

Anyways I just felt like I needed to get that off my chest, I am a Romantic kind of like Ted. I think that no matter what the problems, relationships deserve work. I'm ready to work, so let's go?

-David

Oh I need to write a Tragedy.

Danielle says that tragedies are the best stories, and I write wonderfully sad Tragedies, So I think I must write one. I wish I could write good stories that are happy, but I am far too devilish for that I guess. Goodnight.

-David

Quotes from a wise old wizard.

I sit here, sipping my apple cider and nursing the fingernail that got ripped because I opened the bottle the wrong way. Oh well, it is ok the cider is worth the pain. Pain for pleasure right? Well I just watched the girl who probobly has some part of my heart(how the heck should I know, heavens knows that I don't want to her to have any of it.) graduate; it was a much livelier ceremony that the one that I participated in two days ago. She looked absolutly radiant and the idea that I need to be alone resinated all night. I really like her family and I still pray for her little brother, He's a cool kid.

There was a great man, who lived a few years ago who once said, "Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them." This I guess has some part to play in the paths that I have chosen. I dont want exactly what I need and I definatly don't need exactly what I want. I like a girl who wants nothing to do with me, and I am going on dates with a girl who probobly could do much better. I want to go to college to do something that I love and then go to the peace corps, and then to get a doctorate/masters. Foregoing being a father(what I really want) for a long time. I don't know whats best for me, or even what would be the easiest thing for me to do, but I am trying.

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." Is another one of the great sayings, I fall prey to this one all the time; just like young harry did in front of the mirror. I spend all of this time deciding what I want to do, imagining myself all over the world; helping people, ruling people, fighting people, and being amazing. I don't know what I will do, and chances are I will end up in some random job that doesn't make the difference that I want to. It is stupid of me to assume that if I am a teacher that I wont enjoy life. I can't spend time imagining myself as an amazing person, when I could just as easily be an amazing Father, and Teacher or whatever I am. It really doesnt do to dwell on dreams and forget to live the life that could be even better.

"To the well organized mind death is but the next great adventure." I guess that is the last of the quotes that I have, at least that relates to my life. Death isn't really the end, we all know that, but High school also isn't the end of life. This is sometimes hard to remember when faced with a life of paying bills, taxes and raising kids. Life is never ending, and death is just one of the many pathes that you go down durring your life. I can't wait to see where my life takes me, I hope that it is somewhere amazing. Who knows? well certainly not me. It is late now and I am tired. Goodnight internet/world.

-David (with coauthorship by Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.)

Also to Karen if youre reading this

Thank you for the watch, It was very nice of you to send it.

-David.

It is the time...

I am getting older, I can't feel it, or see it, or touch it; but I know it. 4 years ago I was a freshman at Bullard highschool; With that title came all of the faults. I was short(er), I was fat(ter), I was stupid, I was proud, I was lame, I was quiet, I was ignorant, and I probobly smelled. After 4 years in lame classes, and with some pretty amazing people I think that I am a completely different person(almost) than when I started. My friend Chloe put it pretty well this morning at 4; "The friends you have from high school are the people who helped shape who you are and were there when you grew up." It is completely true, that is probobly one of the main reasons why we will be better friends with them than with our college friends. I am thankful for everyone who touched my life in these past 4 years, and who has helped me grow into the man that I will one day become. My friends, teachers, family, and God; They have all helped me, shaped me, and made me who I need to be.

I dont yet know what my purpose in life is, or where I am going; but I know that when I get there I will be ready for whatever the challenge that faces me will be. I just wanted to reflect for a bit on what high school was all about, what I remember, who I am and why. High school for me was a learning experience, but also a place to grow as a person. We had teachers who were supposed to teach us not only Knowledge, but also ethics. We grow to be better people(Theoretically) and prepare for not only the world and its challenges, but also start to understand the challenges present within ourselves. I have a vice that is greater than all the others and it eats at me all day long, I have yet to overcome it completely but I am getting better at it. It isnt by my own doing that this is being taken care of, but by the doing of those around me who care.

I started high school as a tiny freshman with no friends who thought he knew a lot and wanted to be nice to everyone so that he would forego the problems he had in middle school(losing all of my friends in january(ish) when I broke up with Alli, and being called a callow(my word) jerk by a lot of people. Oh Oxford how you were so kind, not.). So I tried to be the nice guy and eventually I made some friends who were seniors that I would abandon for bandos, who I would ditch for Linda, Kate, Veronica, and Chloe. I hung out with them and pretty much had a strange relationship with each one of them, But linda was my best friend. Oh she got introduced to me by Zach Luna who was a crazy emo kid(like me at the time) who was bi(not like me) and just thought Linda and I would get along. Well Linda was my best friend, which Im pretty sure was the extent of that. We talked a lot and we hung out a lot and I think that I just got on her nerves, because she kicked me to the curb like I had been kicked by all of my Oxford Friends. It sucked, a lot. I cried, I contemplated Suicide(Not the first time, but I would never have done it, just liked to have the choice), and I wished I could change her mind. Chloe was still my good friend, and still is today. Veronica and I are on good terms, and Kate and I are cool too. Linda and I have since made up, but that was a hard time in my life.

After freshman year, I started Sophmore year having been single for a record 10 months which was pretty cool, except I hated it at the time(Im at 9 months for now, Waiting for that girl). I was in theater class and this would be the first of many mistakes on my part(don't get me wrong, I love theater and Acting; but theater was where I met Maggie and that was where I fell into a bad rut.) I started dating Maggie, not from getting to know her and liking her and stuff like that, being friends; but instead for pure physical attraction - she was cute. Maggie and I dated on and off for the entirety of Sophmore year, Battleing through depression and cutting much like I had with Alli, but to a larger extent and A harder end. I Broke up with maggie 4 different times for 4 different reasons, But there was one main concern; she wouldn't get help.(she is since doing way better on the depression front, and we are friends(loosly use the term, she gets mad at me sometimes) most of the time). Maggie and I did a lot of crazy stuff when we dated, but it wasn't till Junior year that the real hell started. Durring Sophmore year on a different set of shit, Nathan started Dating Esa who had some of the same problems as maggie( Esa and I are friends, and she is no longer depressed as badly as she was, although she still gets sad sometimes.) Nathan saw what Maggie was like, and told me to give her up, Just like Michael(Putnam; my best friend that year) told me too, and just about everyone else. That was the year that I took Euro and Cody and Veronica had their thing(we dont really talk about it) and when I met mr. Oliver and decided I wanted to be on Acadec(team try-outs were another cause of crying; I think I have a problem with not being good enough, but that is being dealt with I think.). The year was not a good one, or a spectacular one but it was pretty fundemental in finding out who I am and why I do what I do. Also in what I wanted in life, and Forging the bonds of Friendship with Nathan and Cody(Hoover) that last till today. That year I also dated Beth, who I had to break up with because she was turning 18 and I was only 15, and because I just didnt want to go out anymore.

The summer before junior year, I did acadec Packet work, and Also was in Fever. Chloe was the only one who ever went to my competitions besides family, and I still appreciate it. That year I started acadec and met someone who would change my life; all of the seniors, but mainly Bunting(also known as Matt).That was the year that I dated Georgia, and Then Kaitlyn and got called a cheater because of the time that was between them(Almost none, but I didn't cheat.) Kaitlyn was the first girl I had been with, and it was not the most humbling of experiences( Please dont Judge me, I've been Judged enough; but if you must please keep it to yourself. Thank you.). She was pretty great, and I still love her to death. She is and will always be one of my greatest friends and favorite people in the world(even if she can be a bit crazy.) I then went out with Maggie, after a breif time being with Georgia and being a totally misguided douche. Maggie and I were terrible together and She cried a lot of the time. It ended with her cheating on me with a guy named Ben, who I forgive and her as well because its just something that I wont blame her for. Although I know that she won't forgive me because it killed her chance of getting onto Acadec. After that, I met Emily at the Young Writers Conference about a month later and that goes into senior year which I will talk about later. That year I was section leader of the Pit in band and it went much more smoothly than sophmore year, I competed in Propel percussion with my friend savannah(from fever) and met a lot of cool people. Nathan and I grew closer, and Cody became one of my best friends. Cody Delany and I werent really friends, and Michael and I were better than ever. I did alright in Academic Decathalon and Learned a lot about what it was to be a leader from both Kamalei and Matt, and that it was alright to be myself from Bunting(Matt) even if people dont always agree. Jennifer King was durring junior year, and she was an idiot who got drunk at lazer quest(with acadec? who does that?) and everyone was ashamed esspecially me, we kind of had a thing(sadly). That was a good year on the growth scale, a terrible year on the morale scale, and A bad year on the leading off into senior year platform.

Senior year started with the summer before it, I became a christian, again. I Love God, and I am getting to know myself in him day by day. It is a quest that I think I am suited for and I find it thrilling. The person who brought me to God, was not the most pure of angels. She was a manic depressed, obsessive, Imature, and at times needy girl. I was with her for 6 months(almost) and Cheated on her(as she did me). I should have ended it before it came to cheating, but I was stupid and wrong. Kaitlyn was the one who knocked me to my senses and finally got me to free myself. Which I have remained for 9 months, with no girlfriend. It is pretty intense, trying to live for someone besides yourself. I don't always measure up, to the standard that I have set, not that he has set. Its pretty cool knowing that Im not perfect but that he loves me anyways. This year has by far been the best(despite not winning acadec(who cares?), not winning band or winterdrums(again who gives?) and losing one of my best friends(I care.)) I grew up and started to live life by the best way I knew how. Cody and I became best friends, Nate and I are best friends, and I was the best leader that I could be In Acadec, and in Band. I don't know if anything I ever did made any difference, people seldom do, but I hope so. I worked my butt off, and got to one of the top places in acadec, and I loved the whole ride. I worked hard for band, and I got it. I met a nice girl who has kind of messed it up for any other girl who may come into my life because she set a pretty damn high standard for all girls in my life. I have been without a girl(physically and emotionally) for the longest I ever have since before I ever dated. I love life and I am going to miss school, but I am also excited for the future. I had many amazing mentors in school(mr.o, mr.a, and leonard) and I hope that my life will pay honor to them.

I like who I am, and where I am going. I know that Ive made mistakes(5 big ones) and been with the wrong people at the wrong times; but I am not going to let that rule my life. I will go on to do great things and I will definatly be who I am meant to be. No matter what it takes or how much of myself I need to sacrifice; I am going to do what I am called to do. High school was a blast, and It prepared me for the future, but it is defiantly not going to haunt me. None of the problems, or dreams. It is all about the future now, and Im ready to go.

I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you are rooting for me. Good luck with your own life, and goodbye for now.

-David.