I dont yet know what my purpose in life is, or where I am going; but I know that when I get there I will be ready for whatever the challenge that faces me will be. I just wanted to reflect for a bit on what high school was all about, what I remember, who I am and why. High school for me was a learning experience, but also a place to grow as a person. We had teachers who were supposed to teach us not only Knowledge, but also ethics. We grow to be better people(Theoretically) and prepare for not only the world and its challenges, but also start to understand the challenges present within ourselves. I have a vice that is greater than all the others and it eats at me all day long, I have yet to overcome it completely but I am getting better at it. It isnt by my own doing that this is being taken care of, but by the doing of those around me who care.
I started high school as a tiny freshman with no friends who thought he knew a lot and wanted to be nice to everyone so that he would forego the problems he had in middle school(losing all of my friends in january(ish) when I broke up with Alli, and being called a callow(my word) jerk by a lot of people. Oh Oxford how you were so kind, not.). So I tried to be the nice guy and eventually I made some friends who were seniors that I would abandon for bandos, who I would ditch for Linda, Kate, Veronica, and Chloe. I hung out with them and pretty much had a strange relationship with each one of them, But linda was my best friend. Oh she got introduced to me by Zach Luna who was a crazy emo kid(like me at the time) who was bi(not like me) and just thought Linda and I would get along. Well Linda was my best friend, which Im pretty sure was the extent of that. We talked a lot and we hung out a lot and I think that I just got on her nerves, because she kicked me to the curb like I had been kicked by all of my Oxford Friends. It sucked, a lot. I cried, I contemplated Suicide(Not the first time, but I would never have done it, just liked to have the choice), and I wished I could change her mind. Chloe was still my good friend, and still is today. Veronica and I are on good terms, and Kate and I are cool too. Linda and I have since made up, but that was a hard time in my life.
After freshman year, I started Sophmore year having been single for a record 10 months which was pretty cool, except I hated it at the time(Im at 9 months for now, Waiting for that girl). I was in theater class and this would be the first of many mistakes on my part(don't get me wrong, I love theater and Acting; but theater was where I met Maggie and that was where I fell into a bad rut.) I started dating Maggie, not from getting to know her and liking her and stuff like that, being friends; but instead for pure physical attraction - she was cute. Maggie and I dated on and off for the entirety of Sophmore year, Battleing through depression and cutting much like I had with Alli, but to a larger extent and A harder end. I Broke up with maggie 4 different times for 4 different reasons, But there was one main concern; she wouldn't get help.(she is since doing way better on the depression front, and we are friends(loosly use the term, she gets mad at me sometimes) most of the time). Maggie and I did a lot of crazy stuff when we dated, but it wasn't till Junior year that the real hell started. Durring Sophmore year on a different set of shit, Nathan started Dating Esa who had some of the same problems as maggie( Esa and I are friends, and she is no longer depressed as badly as she was, although she still gets sad sometimes.) Nathan saw what Maggie was like, and told me to give her up, Just like Michael(Putnam; my best friend that year) told me too, and just about everyone else. That was the year that I took Euro and Cody and Veronica had their thing(we dont really talk about it) and when I met mr. Oliver and decided I wanted to be on Acadec(team try-outs were another cause of crying; I think I have a problem with not being good enough, but that is being dealt with I think.). The year was not a good one, or a spectacular one but it was pretty fundemental in finding out who I am and why I do what I do. Also in what I wanted in life, and Forging the bonds of Friendship with Nathan and Cody(Hoover) that last till today. That year I also dated Beth, who I had to break up with because she was turning 18 and I was only 15, and because I just didnt want to go out anymore.
The summer before junior year, I did acadec Packet work, and Also was in Fever. Chloe was the only one who ever went to my competitions besides family, and I still appreciate it. That year I started acadec and met someone who would change my life; all of the seniors, but mainly Bunting(also known as Matt).That was the year that I dated Georgia, and Then Kaitlyn and got called a cheater because of the time that was between them(Almost none, but I didn't cheat.) Kaitlyn was the first girl I had been with, and it was not the most humbling of experiences( Please dont Judge me, I've been Judged enough; but if you must please keep it to yourself. Thank you.). She was pretty great, and I still love her to death. She is and will always be one of my greatest friends and favorite people in the world(even if she can be a bit crazy.) I then went out with Maggie, after a breif time being with Georgia and being a totally misguided douche. Maggie and I were terrible together and She cried a lot of the time. It ended with her cheating on me with a guy named Ben, who I forgive and her as well because its just something that I wont blame her for. Although I know that she won't forgive me because it killed her chance of getting onto Acadec. After that, I met Emily at the Young Writers Conference about a month later and that goes into senior year which I will talk about later. That year I was section leader of the Pit in band and it went much more smoothly than sophmore year, I competed in Propel percussion with my friend savannah(from fever) and met a lot of cool people. Nathan and I grew closer, and Cody became one of my best friends. Cody Delany and I werent really friends, and Michael and I were better than ever. I did alright in Academic Decathalon and Learned a lot about what it was to be a leader from both Kamalei and Matt, and that it was alright to be myself from Bunting(Matt) even if people dont always agree. Jennifer King was durring junior year, and she was an idiot who got drunk at lazer quest(with acadec? who does that?) and everyone was ashamed esspecially me, we kind of had a thing(sadly). That was a good year on the growth scale, a terrible year on the morale scale, and A bad year on the leading off into senior year platform.
Senior year started with the summer before it, I became a christian, again. I Love God, and I am getting to know myself in him day by day. It is a quest that I think I am suited for and I find it thrilling. The person who brought me to God, was not the most pure of angels. She was a manic depressed, obsessive, Imature, and at times needy girl. I was with her for 6 months(almost) and Cheated on her(as she did me). I should have ended it before it came to cheating, but I was stupid and wrong. Kaitlyn was the one who knocked me to my senses and finally got me to free myself. Which I have remained for 9 months, with no girlfriend. It is pretty intense, trying to live for someone besides yourself. I don't always measure up, to the standard that I have set, not that he has set. Its pretty cool knowing that Im not perfect but that he loves me anyways. This year has by far been the best(despite not winning acadec(who cares?), not winning band or winterdrums(again who gives?) and losing one of my best friends(I care.)) I grew up and started to live life by the best way I knew how. Cody and I became best friends, Nate and I are best friends, and I was the best leader that I could be In Acadec, and in Band. I don't know if anything I ever did made any difference, people seldom do, but I hope so. I worked my butt off, and got to one of the top places in acadec, and I loved the whole ride. I worked hard for band, and I got it. I met a nice girl who has kind of messed it up for any other girl who may come into my life because she set a pretty damn high standard for all girls in my life. I have been without a girl(physically and emotionally) for the longest I ever have since before I ever dated. I love life and I am going to miss school, but I am also excited for the future. I had many amazing mentors in school(mr.o, mr.a, and leonard) and I hope that my life will pay honor to them.
I like who I am, and where I am going. I know that Ive made mistakes(5 big ones) and been with the wrong people at the wrong times; but I am not going to let that rule my life. I will go on to do great things and I will definatly be who I am meant to be. No matter what it takes or how much of myself I need to sacrifice; I am going to do what I am called to do. High school was a blast, and It prepared me for the future, but it is defiantly not going to haunt me. None of the problems, or dreams. It is all about the future now, and Im ready to go.
I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you are rooting for me. Good luck with your own life, and goodbye for now.
-David.
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