so formal and saturday...

Yesterday was amazing, I danced with 6 different people and just had an amazing time. Today I will take it easy, read, and memorize some stuff and just do some hw. I asked a girl to go out next friday, and I am excited because I havent actually been on a date in a long time. By date I mean an actual date; one where you arent going out but are just friends who are getting to know each other better. I love life right now, too bad I missed church, but its ok I will make it back soon and keep going, I just need to get that niche back in my life. Until that time I will just have to carry the church in my heart and pray. I got accepted to college, and I am so excited. dwisar@csufresno.edu is my email. Im gonna go now. bye.

-David.

Im tired, but i shall continue.

life can be tiring at time, in fact its tiring all of the time. I shall continue on, in hopes of getting what i want to get done. I have 4 badges left to do, and one project. I have 4,000 points to achieve in acadec, and i have a drumline/pit to teach at tenya. I have a drum corps to get into, and friendships to mend. I am not hurt, I am actually doing well. I am going back to church tomorrow, to get back with the lord, because I miss his time, and the time of his children in my life. I will be completely there sometime, for now, im spread thin, but that will work out. Everything will be ok.

-David

last night was like a stolen kiss.

fast and uncalled for, but at the same time, something else entirely. I liked that feeling, seeing someone I care about, comfortable enough to sleep, to sleep peacefully whilst i was driving. it was nice. I think I shall go back to church this week. Despite what might come to me, it isnt about me, its about him. Im tired of being afraid, or feeling like a jerk. Im not, I was well in my rights. Despite the bickering, and the tantrums, the hitting me, the constant barage of insults that eventually lead to my self hatred. I still wanted to be her friend. I cared about her. still do, but im letting it go. Abusive relationships are someting that both parties can be a part of. Im glad to say the abuse in this last one, was all one sided. If you put yourself out enough to get hit, you always will. Someone once told me, "you dont sing well, but when you sing, it is the only thing i want to hear." someone else once told me, "I hate when you sing, I hate your voice." last night I was told, "I love your voice." comming from this person that means a lot, so I think i will keep my song, continue to voice it loud, and remember what it is like to fall in love, but this time gaurd myself from being taken without given anything in return. I never wanted what she had to give, 4 times it was offered, 4 times rejected. Too bad I took the fruit, it lost me my place in the garden.

So i got moved up...

To rank 3. only a few more to go. i will be number one. Had a great talk with micah today, got an app for college too, im so excited for my future. I can't wait, its like a great adventure. I can't wait to read acts, its gonna be so beneficial to my understanding.

So far in acadec...

Ive been told i was ranked 4th overall in effort. Sadly, this means i need to step it up even harder. Yes my grades will suffer, yes no one will see me anymore, But i will be top B. This isn't even close to the end. Oliver may just be trying to motivate me, or he may actually believe that this is where i am at. Either way, i wanted to be top B at regionals, let alone on our team, since the outset. This is where i show what I am made of.



_David.

It seems like everyone is looking for love...

not love from god, even my friends with that are looking for love. Love in a relationship, oh boy how we all know where this post is going. Lets start at where I bring in my knowledge.

The greeks had 3 forms of love here they are in order of Truth from most to least:

Philia, this was the highest form of love in greek culture(up until agape, which is the love from god. came about around the time of jesus, which was the highest at that point.) Philia was the love between friends, it translates to mean friendship. It was the most reveared and cherished love in anceint Greece. This love would never fail and there are stories that prove that point.

next was Storge: the love of a family, of a parent to a child. This could also apply to spouses, who were not just in it for the passion. This love was genuine and not a bad thing, it wasnt driven by evil and was just under philia.

last and least was eros, sexual love between a man and woman. This was thought to be the weakest and most evil of all love. Throughout greek society and mythology you can see time and time again when men and women turn on those they love. It isnt stroge, they arent married, and they dont love each other in an affecitionate way. It's eros, passion. It comes and goes quickly and never seems to mean a thing.

I want to focus on the last two mentioned. My friends, who are lonely. Want and need Stroge, an affection, a love that isnt selfish and self serving. They may have agape which is the most powerful but that isnt what they are lacking. The only problem is that when they are out looking for storge, for someone who loves them and will care for them. All of the people they find, give them eros. Eros hurts, it burns even. why was cupid known as eros, becuase cupid wasnt a nice guy, and eros wasnt a nice love. It was painful and let you down.

My friends need to learn that settling for eros is what they are doing, and that if they want storge they have to not only find it in a person who is mature and ready to give that kind of love, but also someone who will give them philia(the love of a friend). Someone who will sacrifice eros(sexual and passionate love) when it needs to be washed away, and who will give up themselves for the greater. My friends need to learn that if you want that kind of love, you need to hold out for it, and then once you have it, fight for it with everything youve got, because in this world, it is the most precious of human contact, and its easily destroyed.

And then i pray.

peace and love in god.
-david

broken

broken people walk down the street, saying hello as they meet. passing each other without a care, each with their own cross to bear. none with a savior to pick up the load, each one all alone. these broken people have not a chance, if only they could praise and dance.

the world is sad and broken. lets fix it.